Backseat Driving in Martial Arts Training: How it Can Prevent Growth
In learning Krav Maga, the student-teacher relationship goes beyond instruction; it’s about shaping mindset, resilience, and the way one responds under pressure. But just as with any journey, this dynamic can become complicated when a student acts as a “backseat driver”—constantly questioning and seeking control over their practice, ignoring the instructor’s guidance. Though it may come from a place of eagerness or a desire to master the material, backseat driving can hinder true growth, obstructing the flow of learning and slowing down the natural rhythm of progress.
Why Backseat Driving Stalls Learning
When students frequently question techniques or express frustration with their progress, they may be searching for a different path than the one being offered, feeling as though they “should be better by now.” These high expectations, though often well-intentioned, can sometimes lead to frustration and looking outward for reasons, rather than reflecting on the habits, instincts or patterns that might be limiting growth.
In Krav Maga, this mindset becomes a barrier. Krav Maga prepares you for real-world threats—situations where hesitation or overthinking can be costly. But when a student is caught up in self-doubt or constantly searching for alternative approaches, they lose focus on the essentials, undermining the confidence needed to make quick, instinctive decisions under pressure.
For an instructor, this can disrupt the rhythm of teaching. Instead of guiding a natural progression, the instructor may find themselves addressing a student’s doubts or need for control. Mistakes are a critical part of learning, and when an instructor has to constantly explain each step, it interrupts the training flow and limits the student’s chance to grow through practice and correction. Real progress happens when students can let go of unrealistic expectations, trust the instructor’s guidance, and focus on their own commitment to the process.
“Mikol Melamdai Hiskalti” – The Wisdom of Learning
The Hebrew phrase **“מכל מלמדי השכלתי”**—pronounced *Mikol Melamdai Hiskalti*—translates to “From all my teachers I have learned” and is attributed to King David in the Book of Psalms (Psalm 119:99). It encourages an openness to learning from every experience and every person we encounter, seeing each as a potential teacher. In Krav Maga, this wisdom underscores the value of humility in learning, where a student embraces the fact that even mistakes, challenges, and moments of discomfort serve as teachers on the path to mastery.
When students really embody *Mikol Melamdai Hiskalti*, they accept that growth happens through both instruction and experience. By trusting their instructor’s expertise, they open themselves up to the full spectrum of learning, understanding that each training session holds something valuable, whether it feels immediately rewarding or not. This openness contrasts sharply with the backseat driver mentality, which interrupts this natural flow by trying to direct the lesson, often before it’s been fully understood.
How Perfectionism Fuels Backseat Driving
One of the reasons backseat driving arises is a reach for perfectionism. In an intense and demanding practice like Krav Maga, students often feel pressure to execute movements flawlessly. They worry about mistakes, fearing they reflect poorly on their abilities. Yet, this fixation on immediate perfection is counterproductive in Krav Maga, where progress comes through repetition, adaptation, and a willingness to face imperfections.
Perfectionism, though seemingly positive, is a trap. Students caught up in this mentality over-focus on details, believing mastery requires controlling every aspect of the training. However, real progress in Krav Maga depends on adaptability and resilience, not precision alone. By fixating on control, the perfectionist student inadvertently slows their own growth, creating unnecessary obstacles instead of trusting the instructor to lead them through challenges.
Instructors can guide students out of this mindset by encouraging them to embrace failure as a necessary part of the journey. A student who lets go of the need for flawless execution and instead focuses on learning through each experience becomes adaptable, confident, and better prepared for real-world situations. The lessons of *Mikol Melamdai Hiskalti* resonate here: rather than striving for immediate perfection, students can find value in each lesson and learn to see the training itself as a journey of growth.
Breaking the Cycle of Driving Without a Clear Destination
Not every student is ready to let go of control and learn; some backseat drivers resist trusting the instructor, constantly needing to question and correct each step. These students are challenging to train because their need to control the process disrupts their own progress, and they often miss key lessons as a result.
For these students, breaking the cycle starts with realizing that their urge to control is holding them back. Growth in learning requires letting go of this need, trusting the process, and embracing a willingness to make mistakes. The instructor’s role here is to offer clear, constructive feedback while reinforcing the importance of listening and absorbing rather than critiquing. But at the end of the day, it’s up to the student to decide if they’re willing to set aside control and commit to learning fully.
Real improvement comes when a student is ready to trust the teacher again at a higher skill level and accept feedback. They shift focus toward building self-reliance instead of managing every detail. This change allows them to learn instinctively, building skill—and over time, this path will offer greater clarity.
Trust in the Student-Teacher Relationship
Effective Krav Maga training relies on mutual trust and respect. When students release their need to control the lesson, they signal trust in their instructor’s experience and their ability to lead them. In return, instructors show trust by allowing students to face their own challenges, supporting them when needed but stepping back at the right moments to foster independence.
A student who trusts the process no longer feels the urge to critique every movement or dissect each detail in the moment. They can focus fully on absorbing the experience, with the knowledge that growth often feels messy and imperfect. This trust-based dynamic encourages the very resilience Krav Maga aims to build.
Practical Steps to Avoid Becoming a Backseat Driver
To foster this productive learning environment, students and instructors alike can take steps to avoid the backseat driver trap:
- For Students: Follow each class with an open mind, trusting that mistakes and discomfort are normal parts of getting better. Resist the urge to question the path or judge each choice—focus instead on fully experiencing each lesson. Real progress takes time and comes from steady effort, reflection, and patience. After training, think about what you gained rather than how you would have done things differently. Aim for progress, not perfection. Focus on building skill, resilience, and confidence, knowing that true learning comes from trusting the process—not trying to control every step.
- For Instructors: Recognize that as students learn, they begin to ask the right questions—questions that signal growth and understanding. Doubt can be a healthy part of the process, for both the student and the instructor. It challenges you to clarify your own approach and reinforces your own growth as a teacher. Ensure that your “backseat passenger” isn’t blindfolded; show them the way, at least the parts they’re ready to understand, and share the reasoning behind certain choices. Allow them to see enough of the process to trust the journey, but always keep the map firmly in your hands.
- For Both: Embrace a mindset of growth rooted in trust and humility, following the wisdom of leaning from everyone who can teach you something and help you improve — with the understanding that each student should aim to surpass their teachers, eventually. Trust in the good intentions behind each lesson, focusing on steady progress rather than perfection. Recognize that learning happens best with a willingness to make mistakes and trust the process.
Imperfection & Trust is The Path to Mastery
Mastering Krav Maga is built on imperfection, trial, and small improvements. It demands adaptability over control and resilience over perfection. When students step away from the “backseat driver” mentality, they can engage fully, learning to trust their instincts, their bodies, and their instructors.
Focusing on the process over the outcome makes growth natural; movements become instinctive, and confidence grows from within. Instructors who encourage independence don’t just create skilled fighters—they shape individuals ready for life’s demands.
Every setback, misstep, and correction is part of the path, moving students toward resilience and readiness. Embracing the idea of learning from every lesson, mistake, and mentor shifts Krav Maga from a pursuit of control to one of constant growth. This approach turns Krav Maga training into a shared path of growth, making both student and teacher stronger, adaptable, and ready for the real world.
Do something amazing,
Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts