Meet Your Future, Better Self.

The Illusion of Moral Perfection

A few years ago, I read the book “Predictably Irrational” by Dan Ariely, a psychology and behavioral economics professor.

This book helped me understand human behavior and decision-making a bit better. Among the many insights it offers, I decided to share one that resonates profoundly with how I see human behavior – on the Krav mat.

Meet Your Future Self

“In the future, I’ll exercise more and spend more time stretching, breathing, and resting. I’ll also call my mom more often and eat cleaner. I’ll work on being more compassionate and kind, even when I’m angry.”

Does any of that resonate with you?  We all strive to be better people – in the future.

This idea highlights the gap between how we perceive ourselves and how we actually behave, especially in terms of morality and ethics. Ariely explores how cognitive biases cause us to overestimate our future moral actions, often neglecting to act in the present. The disconnect between who we think we are and how others see us stems from our behaviors. By understanding these dynamics, we can better align our current actions with our future intentions and values, thereby changing how others perceive us, their expectations, and the results we achieve.

At the core of the concept is the belief that people tend to view their future selves as more moral, ethical, and disciplined than they are in the present. In simpler words – most of us are motivated to do better but are not disciplined enough to do anything about it. This perception acts as a moral benchmark, providing a comforting narrative that while we may fall short today, we will undoubtedly be better tomorrow.

This belief allows us to maintain a positive self-image, reassuring ourselves that any lapses in judgment or morality are only temporary and that we will ultimately live up to our ideals sometime in the future.

However, this self-deception has consequences. Deferring our moral obligations and self-improvement to the future, creates a gap between who we are and who we aspire to be. Ariely argues that this gap is a significant factor in why many people will fail to make meaningful changes in their lives.

Despite our best intentions to be better in the future, when the future becomes the present, the same psychological process and habits that caused us to fall short in the past will likely still be in effect. Procrastination, temptation, and rationalization remain powerful forces that can undermine intention. From my personal experience, people help themselves change mostly after a life-changing event, like getting fit after a cardiac arrest, stopping smoking when their health declines, or learning self-defense – when they experience helplessness against an attack or a threat.

The belief in a better future self often leads to inaction in the present, as we convince ourselves that there will always be time to make better choices later. Many times, that approach works, except when it doesn’t.

This disconnect between intention and action is a central theme in Ariely’s studies. The overconfidence in our future selves is a common cognitive bias, one that creates a persistent gap between our aspirations and our behavior.

Behavioral Insights and Practical Strategies

Understanding this concept is a significant first step towards a desired behavior change. Instead of relying only on the hope that our future self will be better, we should create environments and systems that make it easier to do the right thing – now. For instance, not buying the food we try to avoid and reducing temptations in the immediate environment. If you wish to save money, setting up automatic savings would be wise.

Self-control requires a lot of discipline and many people struggle with it. The way to work around it is to remove the obstacles to success and focus on our goals. If you ask me, that is the most practical thing we can do to bridge the gap between who we are, and who we hope to be. I don’t suggest making radical changes all at once but it is important to create conditions that support consistent, incremental improvements in our behavior.

Pre-committing to better decisions and reducing exposure to things we know that we have a hard time resisting – can then help align our present actions with the values we hope our future selves will have.

The Influence of Culture and Society

Another point of view to discuss is the societal norms and cultural expectations that shape this phenomenon. People often set unrealistic expectations for their future selves based on social pressures or ideals. When these expectations are not met, it can lead to chronic dissatisfaction, as people find themselves unable to live up to the “high standards” they have set and never actually achieve. Cultural and societal roles heavily influence our self-esteem and perceptions of our future selves. However, by understanding the social standards and norms we are striving to meet, we might develop more attainable plans to achieve our goals.

The illusion of a morally perfect future self can be comforting, but it is also a trap that prevents us from embracing the only moment we truly have control over: the present. If we continue to postpone our growth, and rely on a future that is always just out of reach, we risk never becoming the person we aspire to be—or the person we think we are.

The challenge, then, is not to dream of who we might be tomorrow but to act on who we are today. We are the accumulation of our consistent deeds. It’s in the small actions we take now—despite temptations, rationalizations, and procrastination—that we bridge the gap between our reality and our ideals.

So, rather than waiting for the future to force us to deliver a better version of ourselves, take control of the process and commit to a better self, now.

Do something amazing,

Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts