Rethinking Safety Habits: Why Self-Defense is the Key to True Confidence and Freedom for Women

Before stepping onto the mat, most women have developed a repertoire of safety strategies they believe will shield them from danger. Through hundreds of interviews with women training in Krav Maga, I discovered an unsettling truth: many of these approaches—despite being well-intentioned—may actually increase their vulnerability. 

They avoid eye contact with strangers, unintentionally limiting their awareness and missing signs of potential danger. They wear headphones while walking down the street, blocking out important environmental cues in hopes of warding off attention. They stand close to walls or subway doors, thinking this minimizes unwanted physical contact, not realizing that it also limits their options for quick movement or escape. 

Hearing these stories filled me with a deep concern for their safety, as these common behaviors are not as protective as they seem. Rather than reducing risk, they can inadvertently make someone a target. In this essay, I’ll explore these misconceptions, the dangerous habits that are often mistaken for self-protection, and how training in Krav Maga is reshaping their approach to safety with empowering proactive behavior and techniques.

Here’s a list of common strategies and actions women may take to feel safer:

Self-Defense Preparedness

1. Carrying self-defense tools like pepper spray, personal alarms, or small tasers (though often without easy access in emergencies or sufficient training).
2. Taking short-term self-defense classes to build basic knowledge and confidence. (and expecting to build a skill quickly)
3. Learning and practicing assertive body language to deter potential aggressors.

Staying Connected and Alert

1. Sharing real-time location with friends or family via mobile apps while out alone.
2. Establishing code words with trusted people to signal if they need help.
3. Using reverse-image search to verify online profiles before meeting someone.

Travel and Transportation Safety

1. Pre-screening travel routes to avoid unfamiliar or isolated areas.
2. Parking in well-lit, populated areas to avoid dark or secluded spots.
3. Utilizing rideshare safety features, like verifying the driver and car, and sharing ride details.
4. Locking car doors immediately after getting inside to prevent access by strangers.
5. Avoiding isolated ATMs and opting for indoor or well-lit bank locations.

Situational Awareness and Avoidance

1. Staying hyper-aware of surroundings and practicing situational awareness, such as scanning the environment and identifying exits.
2. Crossing the street or changing paths if they feel followed or uncomfortable.
3. Trusting instincts by leaving a place or situation if it feels unsafe.
4. Checking around or under the car before approaching it in a parking area.

Clothing and Accessory Choices for Safety

1. Dressing in layers or wearing easy-to-move shoes for comfort and readiness.
2. Keeping a pair of sneakers or flip-flops in their bag to change quickly if a fast getaway is needed.
3. Wearing their hair in ways that prevent it from being easily pulled.

Staying in Safe Zones and Avoiding Vulnerability

1. Standing near a wall or subway door to avoid unwanted physical contact.
2. Staying in groups or pairs, especially when going out at night.
3. Keeping a secure grip on belongings to deter snatch-and-grab thefts.

When I look at this list—and think about all the other precautions I chose not to include—it fills me with a deep sadness and worry for the state of our society. Imagining the women in my life enduring this exhausting, anxiety-filled process daily just to achieve a sense of peace before stepping out the door is heartbreaking. The fact that these precautions have become a routine part of life is both horrifying and profoundly troubling. It’s a reminder of how much remains to be done to create a world where everyone can feel safe without this constant vigilance.

Most men don’t approach personal safety with a detailed list like this, as it often doesn’t cross our minds in everyday life. Personally, the only times I’ve given real thought to what I wear or carry for safety were during my service in the West Bank, where the threats were immediate and real. Adjusting my attire to avoid sexual predators or personal danger is simply not something I’ve ever had to consider.

(However, in 2024, many Jewish people are now faced with the troubling choice of whether to wear symbols of their faith before stepping out, given the rise in antisemitism. It’s deeply concerning, but I don’t fall into this group myself.)

If I suspect there’s a target on my back, I do everything I can to remove it. I ensure that nothing in my behavior or body language signals vulnerability or invites attention. Above all, I train rigorously, building up the skills and confidence to face any threat directly, knowing I’m prepared to handle it.

While it’s disheartening to think that these routines are embedded in so many women’s daily lives, there is a path forward. Real safety isn’t achieved through habits that reinforce fear; it’s found in empowerment and preparedness. Women don’t need to treat self-defense training as a “task” or a temporary fix—it’s a life skill, an essential investment in themselves that builds true, lasting confidence. It’s not simply a “good-to-know” but a “must-know” skill.

At the end of this journey, those who dedicate even a few hours each week to training will find themselves safer, more confident, and happier, knowing they can protect themselves and the things they love. By accepting self-defense skills as a core part of life, they can significantly reduce the time and mental energy spent on daily safety precautions, allowing them to move through the world as stronger, freer versions of themselves.

In a world where vigilance often feels necessary, we can still strive to create one where it’s less so. When women are equipped with the tools to stand tall, assert themselves, and act decisively, we’re one step closer to that world. The change starts with education, awareness, and, most importantly, the commitment to empowering each other to live without fear.

Be your defense.

Do something amazing,

Tsahi Shemesh
Founder & CEO
Krav Maga Experts